Dream (6th to 7th/November/2013)

Suddenly I was staring at this door. It was a front door of some apartment at the end of the corridor. I could see all of its details, such as the way it was built, all the wood panels, its knob, and when I paid attention to the wood veins, the spaces between the veins started to enlarge, increasing its contrast. They kept on enlarging making all the veins burst out from the door in form of countless tiny wood barbs. The door now had an aggressive look, full of barbs pointed in my direction and a lot of barbs was also pouring onto the ground and reaching around my feet. It looked like the wood was getting rotten extremely fast.

The door became very ugly and dark. Then, as I could see though it, a shape of a human body started to appear behind it. It was like crawling on the floor trying to reach for this door. As this vision became more clear, I could notice that it was a woman. She was desperate, crying and weak. And then she started to puke a lot. Her vomit poured on the floor just like those barbs from the door.

Regardless that I was actually staring at a door, I could clearly notice the look on her face. Her crying eyes, and this vision ended by a very close look on her left eye.

On the next moment, I noticed myself at a different place. It looked like a market place, but it was dark as a night club. The ceiling was very low. There was a lot of people there and some of them was talking to me, as we were in the middle of a conversation, but I could not remember what has happened before it, and still I could not go further with the conversation because now I was concerned with that lady at that apartment.

I stared away, and those people around me were looking at me as they were expecting an answer from me. And then I said with a glance "Excuse me, but I have to go.".

I left that place and ran to the stairs. I went up as fast as I could and meanwhile I was saying in my thoughts "Hang on! I'm coming! I'm coming!" and then I could hear her in my thoughts but I could not distinguish the words. But it was amazing how I could feel accurately the remaining distance I was from her by listening her voice in my head.

When I arrived, I slowly opened that same door from my vision, and now I could hear her more by my ears than by my mind. I still could not distinguish her words but I could tell she was kind of singing. Like she was talking to herself in that way.

The apartment was a mess, and the walls was full of pictures, notations and strong-red stains. When the thought that those strong-red stains could be blood occured me, I put my hands on both sides of my head at about the forehead area, and I thought to myself "What is she done?". And I hesitated to walk further because I was afraid of what I could see next. Then I said "Christina?", she said "Yes?", then I walked a little more so I could see her.

She was just standing there, staring back at me, arms aside her body, dressed only with a big blue t-shirt that on her suited as a dress. Her arms were, just like the walls, all covered with strong-red stains. So I asked her "What art thou doing?", and she said "Painting."

I sensed a certain emotional unbalancing in the tone of her voice, and as I changed my facial expression in relief of knowing that it all was paint and not blood, she came in my direction and hugged me.

While holding her, I paid more attention to the stains near the pictures and noticed that there was one same word written several times, one right after the other, and reading that and understanding things from the picture and the whole situation, with tears in my eyes and holding the back of her head with my right hand I asked her: "Why doest thou hate thyself so much?".

And then I woke up.

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Ace